Life

It's been almost a year since I created this blog and I've yet to write in it because I've yet to find anything worthy of blogging.  Life right now is bland, and lifeless.  Alone and a failure, I suppose, is what I've become this year.  I found a song that explains what my year has been like.  I just don't know where to go from here right now.  I know the only way I can go is forward...but I don't know if I'm ready for ready.  I want him back.  I love him and I wish that I could make him realize that this is what I want.  I want him and I to be together.  I want us to always be together.  I want to mother his children and so forth.  I know that he is what I want, but he doesn't want me. I know this.  He tells me it will just take time for him to come around to the idea, but in the way he acts and the way he looks, I know he has no hope.  Yet, I let my self fall all over again.  I just feel like me being in this town is hindering me anymore.  He is all that I want here...nothing more.  If he tells me no, I've got to leave.  I can't stay here knowing that the only good things I ever wanted slipped through my finger tips.  Life has been thrown a curve ball and I can't tell which way is up anymore.  I guess the only way to figure it out is to let time play it's role in life....though time is a precious thing anymore.   

"Ashes And Wine"

Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
I'll drown in my tear storming sea,
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same
I don't want mudslinging games
It's such a shame
To let you walk away

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This day's spinning circus on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out
I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

I'll tear myself away
That is what you need
There is nothing left to say
But

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?